


There's A Spell For Everything...

by Ineffabilitea



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: Banter, Community: blanketforts, M/M, Unfinished and Discontinued
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-01-08
Updated: 2006-01-08
Packaged: 2017-10-08 23:02:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/80402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ineffabilitea/pseuds/Ineffabilitea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>...except finishing this story.</p><p>Sirius doesn't like suprises, but he does like strained metaphors.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There's A Spell For Everything...

**Author's Note:**

> So, I had a plan for what the surprise in this story would be, but then I never wrote that part, and later I realized the surprise was pretty ridiculous. But when I reread this part, I did like the banter, so I decided to post it here in the interest of completeness. Just know that if it doesn't go anywhere, that's because it's unfinished.
> 
> Written for **blanketforts** 2006 [eighth prompt](http://www.livejournal.com/community/blanketforts/51350.html#cutid1).

"We never talk anymore."

"If by 'anymore' you mean 'in the past five minutes', touché."

"I'm serious, Remus."

"I know you are." Remus grinned. It wasn't too often Sirius slipped up and gave someone else an opportunity to use that groan-inducing pun.

"Remus! It's not just the current situation. You've been acting funny all week. It's like there's a wall between us."

"A wall? And what, pray tell, is this wall made of, exactly?"

"Silence, awkward pauses, I dunno, it's a metaphorical wall anyway."

"Trust me, Pads, there's no wall."

"All I know is, for the past week you have been unusually silent. Silent, like an oak tree. And I don't mean that as a compliment."

"Comparing me to an oak tree could be considered complimentary?"

"Well, you're always saying you'd like to be a tree."

"When am I 'always' saying this?"

"Well, I know you've said it at least once, anyway."

"I cannot recall ever once indicating a heartfelt desire to be a tree. And if I've been quiet this week, it was just because I hadn't much to say, not a sign of impending doom."

"Well, there must be something wrong. You've been keeping something from me, and I don't like it. There can be no secrets between us, Moony! When I think you don't trust me, it's like I can't hear the birds singing."

"What birds would these be?"

"Just general birds. The kind that sing. At sunrise, or whenever."

"Perhaps the reason you don't hear them, then, has little to do with my trust in you and more to do with the fact that you're never awake that early."

"No, no, it's definitely the trust thing. It's like the birds have been buried beneath- beneath the cold snow of your distrust."

"Well, then, perhaps you should try melting it with a tropical storm of snogging."

A pause. "Moony, are you _mocking_ me? Because I am in earnest, here, and your levity wounds me to the quick. In fact, perhaps the birds have not been buried by the snow of distrust, but rather by the muddy slush of mockery."

"One more occasion of unbelievably strained nature metaphor and I will leave you here."

"You can't do that, Moony! And besides, the metaphors, far from being strained, are a sign of my keen mind and sparkling wit. Yes, my wit, which sparkles like- frost on windowpanes in the sun."

"Sirius." Remus stopped and turned to face him, "I've been keeping something from you all week, and now I'm leading you, blindfolded, through the corridors and refusing to tell you where we're going. You didn't think that was much more likely to be indicative of a _surprise_ than of a fatal breakdown in our relationship?"

"You could have gotten bored with me and sold me out to the Slytherins for chocolate. For all I know, you're leading me into a trap as we speak."

"And I'm the one who doesn't trust you?"

"Is it really a surprise, Moony? Because you should know I don't like surprises."

Remus didn't know that, actually. "What do you mean, you don't like surprises?" He took Sirius' hand and continued to lead him down the corridor.

"All I can say is, in the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black, surprises are just as bad as, well, everything else."

"Any particular story you care to tell me?"

"Well, when I was five, my father came home with a surprise for me and Regulus. A pet."

Remus thought that sounded pretty nice, especially coming from Sirius' father. "A pet what?"

"Manticore."

"No!"

"Yes. Even my mother balked at that one, though he swore up and down it had been devenomed."

"Oh. Well, for someone who doesn't like surprises, you certainly seem to take an unholy joy in inflicting them on others."

"The best defence is a good offence. Get them before they get you. And it's worked, up until now. To think, I never foresaw the blow coming from my loyal and adoring boyfriend."

"I think you'll like this surprise much more than a manticore."

"I should hope so. We've stopped again. Why?"

"Because we've reached our destination," replied Remus, untying the makeshift blindfold.

"It's a slightly shabby lounge! Oh Moony, you shouldn't have!"

"The lounge is not the surprise, you git."

"Good, because I hate to tell you this, but the only way this counts as a good surprise is in comparison to a manticore."


End file.
